I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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