are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
