Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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