The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She is in my trunk
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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