wrigley field is MILF paradise
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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