Can i not drive my cunt home
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
