If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize