Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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