I smell stomach acid.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
