I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We named our party play list daddy issues
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
