i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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