Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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