Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
