your parents love me but you hate me
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
