don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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