it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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