I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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