I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
