Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize