I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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