please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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