I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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