Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize