just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
