thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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