Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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