i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
