arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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