white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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