I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
