I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
