i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
