Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
