Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
