She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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