What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
