question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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