I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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