I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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