I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize