I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think my fart just growled at me.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
