I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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