He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
