i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize