Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
