im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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