Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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