Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i've created a new STD.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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