And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
