I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize