I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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