and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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