Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
