whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
