doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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