The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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