I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
50% drunk capacity currently
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
