My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
